There is never a reason to be angry or sad about what anyone is saying or doing to you, unless you have learnt that the reason they are acting this way is “your fault.”
And the default setting of any child that experiences “unexplained” helplessness in parents or other care takers, whether it is through anger, sadness, criticism ….is to belief this is their fault.
When something is our fault we feel we can do something, we can try and be better…..
But what if it never was our fault?
How do we re train?
My last few days were devastating in teaching me more about this already known subject. So many triggers, so much painful me. My anger “issues” have been pressing up and I already get “angry” if someone should even mention the word “anger issues”. Anger is what people frown upon and what I thought I have so mastered now…..But it’s an illusion, there is more deeper layers that are surfacing and all I can do is to recognize this is no award winning game, this is a journey to many places and many opportunities to embrace live in it’s fullest.
Always starting with embracing myself. Being passionate and gentle with myself. Totally accepting myself, this is me and it’s what I learned how one should not be. So I try to hide from myself, I try and be different. And than I remember again, it’s not about how I am, it’s about what I do with how I am.
I learn more about self souting and make plans to create chances for different brain patterns to develop, to give me a chance for new responses to lives situations that trigger me. I find deep love and understanding toward my failures. I embrace my inner critic and ask him to become my deepest ally, so together we can repair what is broken and transform what is ready for transformation.
I step into passionate inquiry and set myself free once again, step by step, every day a new.
Thank you for reading.
Have a lovely self compassionate day.