Our validation system

Are you sometimes torn between meditating and doing the dishes? Do you feel undecided between taking your dog for a walk and working on your business project?

I would describe my perception of this as the validation system. If I ask myself, how many points do I get for

  • 30 minutes of meditation?
  • 30 minutes of working on my business,
  • 30 minutes of doing the dishes,
  • 30 minutes of home schooling actions….

Well, interesting results appear ๐Ÿ™‚

We have learned to evaluate things and this is often an unconscious action. So this game of just giving yourself points can be a helpful tool to first and foremost understand how you evaluate yourself.

Secondly you can choose to “imagine” giving yourself points for the things you want to do more of in live. Now the trap here is that you step into “being a good girl or boy”-behaviour. Cause if I meditate so I get points to proof to myself that I can be good at what I do, I am at risk to crown myself with spiritual arrogance.

It is good to recognize the need for something as for what it is presenting. For example Meditation is a tool to connect to yourself on a spiritual level. Why do you want to do this? Without knowing the reason, you will not be able to understand how you validate this need in your life. My reason is the longing for being present with myself and everything. In meditation I create space to met with what wants to surface from below (all the suppressed that is in need (or ready) to be seen). I feel like it’s a wonderful act of self love and I create my meditations as such. Now as my spiritual journey develops I have come to understand that self love is an extremely powerful path. If I completely love myself, I completely love live and everything that is in it.(realizing this is a BIG statement and needs a few extra explanations, but not today ๐Ÿ˜‰

Anyway, If I spend part of the gift of time on mediating, I nurture something very important in me. I also know this is influencing the common consciousness field and will benefit all. Just as spiritual arrogance will also increase the common spiritual arrogance shadow part…..So it’s good to look and create conscious choices.

And there are several other factors of looking at the validation system. Of course we have learned values from our care givers and from society. And whilst material wealth is still number one in validation system of many, the value of community, equality and fairness for everyone has been receiving more attention in recent decades.

How do I restructure my values?

Often we come across the message that to do what we love best is the way to happiness and success. I agree and I would add, it really helps to know why you like doing certain things. Finding balance is always a nice way of approaching things. For that we need to first identify the unbalanced.

How about giving yourself points for the satisfaction of all the below sectors of your live:

How satisfied are you with any of them at this moment in time?

  • Work
  • Friendships
  • Love live
  • Health
  • Spirituality
  • Education/learning/growth
  • Me time

And than see how you structure your day? Are you valuing yourself for doing the things that you would like to nurture? Are you valuing the things you feel a need for?

Wishing you fun with discovering the answers and feel free to comment or get in touch if you feel in need of help with your journey.



Published by Melanie

I love to create and hold safe spaces that allow us to explore the depth of our beings. I do this on the physical level at our homes in Portugal as well as in vibrational ways though being present with people during sessions online or in person. I am also an adventurous homey, that loves to live in and with nature, exploring and living alternatives ways of live, education, health and entertainment.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: