Learning by mistake is can be very painful, because of the way we learnt to see mistakes. It may involve feeling stupid, ashamed, afraid of not being loved anymore, fear of being abandoned etc.
But when we think of it, it is in many cases the natural way of learning something. When we learn to walk and we lean to much to one side we fall and so we try again and lean a little more to the other side and we might fall again, till we find out where is the centre.
Now you wouldn’t call these mistakes, but when we learn whom to relate with for example we often learn by choosing “the wrong” person. Certain experiences will make us realise what we don’t want and out of this a way of choosing what is right gets born.
So what is the difference between (for example) finding your centre of gravity and (for example) choosing a partner for a romantic relation or for a business.
When we learn to walk we are still at an age of non judgement (luckily – can you imagine how long it would take us to learn if it be any different….)
When we learn to enter important relationships we are already on a repeat and judge pattern.
Repeating as in doing what we have learnt in our first relations (caretakers and parents)
and judging also by the values we have learnt from them.
And the hole process is triggering underlying emotions, giving yourself the chance to bring awareness to your hidden beliefs and patterns. The aim is simply to finish to process and mature with it. Expand and grow through inviting theses experiences.
What do you belief? Are there stupid people in the world? Or are there just different ways of seeing things and different upbringings and base programs. Plus different possibilities according to lots of factors.
When mistakes come down to what they really are, you are able to see your part and take the responsibility for your part. Sometimes we feel we are guilty of everything and instead of being able to assume responsibility, we are feeling so guilty that we simply plead for forgiveness. Or we are incapable to assume our responsibility and stay blaming others, as it feels safer and more isn’t possible when in survival mode (fight – flight – play dead….)
Again to get to the place of freedom you may choose to listen to your unheard feelings and embrace them. This might be feelings from your childhood or even emotions from a far longer time ago that never where expressed and validated.
Expression and validation of emotions is the major part of the healing process.
Resistance, because we are still in the blind zone is the reason behind stuck situations.
Agreeing to assume your responsibility and looking at the painful parts brings freedom but it is not a click of a button. The emotions that got addressed may rumble inside you for a while and I want to remind you to think of it as grieving. Something that has not been seen or allowed to be expressed for a long time has finally been allowed to surface and so the loving action will be to accompany it with love no matter how long it is in needy. Asking for it’s needs and acting accordingly.
Embrace your self – Befriend yourself – Especially when you made a mistake 😉