Why we are here
We are here to work on ourselves and heal and grow and maybe acquire some life skills that help us through our problems.
Whats the first need
I choose as a first topic to work with the theme of safety because this will be the bases from which we need to start.
Why do we need safety
Safety is extremely important for our development and healing.
Only if we feel safe we can open up. Only if we feel safe we can connect, we can listen, we can feel companionship, we can feel freedom and we will have a freedom, the freedom of choice
Understanding is part of creating safety and so this is why we will talk a bit about safety and surviving behavior, so we gain understanding which will lead into gaining awareness in action. You will be more able to identify if you are acting from survival mode or if you are feeling safe
When we experienced danger and we felt unprotected we needed a survival strategy.
Our body and mind is equipped with a survival plan software.
It knows what to do when danger approaches.
For example on the physical level we run away or we hide or we fight and we often get amazing strength to do so if needed.
On the mental and emotional level we also have our survival skills, such as we dissociate or distract. Dissociating usually comes when distraction is not an option anymore.
We mentally go into survival mode with the aim to pick up on things later.
Important to understand: As children we needed this. And even in our tribal past it was needed to be emotionally safe, because the physical safety is directly connected to this and it means we can die if we lose it.
Example: If you didn’t behave the way your parents approved you had to maybe go into your room and so the punishment was isolation. The learned lesson: If I am (angry, sad, needy, helpless…..) I will be left alone.
Safty and expansion vs danger and retraction
Some people would talk about the ego (I personally don’t like the word, as we have abused it so much and usually we have no respect for peoples ego)
and the true self
I believe this is comparable with the surviving me and the expanding me (the true self)
Safty is needed to expand
When we where unsafe at any time we have created a safety route which can be anything:
anything that distracts us, dissociates us from what it is we can not deal with.
The healing path
Life will reflect our belief back onto us with many repetitive stories so we can recognize.
But first – FIRST Saftety 🙂
Which also comes through understanding.
And this will be what the first session is about.