When we feel like paralysed and stuck, unmotivated, frustrated etc, the reason might be the fear of mistakes.
Having encountered some of my own package in this area too I would say it is like most big ones not something you can wipe out with one go. It comes again and again and it seams to make part of our developmental process.
So we need to get the right understanding of what is maybe a healthy “fear” in this area. Lets call it healthy care.
Whatever we are afraid of going wrong it might have a serious reason why we are afraid of this. For example if I am afraid of working with people and their mental & soul issues I am afraid of re-traumatising them and of not being fast enough or as good as others,
Now these are important concerns and they are helpful for myself and others. If we do not ask ourselves whether we are good enough for something, we potentially run dangerous businesses, whatever it is you offer to the world around you.
However often the fear is bigger than needed and there is a way to find out if the fear is true and if change is needed and what needs to change.
Once again it is needed to make room for these ever so unpleasant emotions 😉 Fear is not easy and feeling not good enough is pretty tough too. Fear of mistakes is like an old time classic amongst the human fears that must have been breeding for mileniums. So it has it’s purpose and we can only discover when we are brave enough to look.
For example if I let myself enter into the fear of making a mistake and not being good enough, I may discover I am afraid of damaging people, now is it a concern that is realistic or how does my inner self feel about it? It might be easy to come up with simply enough argument that that is not the case. Still the thought remains and trying to chase it away is not necessarily the clever thing to do, maybe it is there to help me to define the direction of my journey in a more detailed way.
This, one can find out by sitting with the emotion, by not chasing it away or being afraid of it, but by being kind and receiving with the emotion that is presenting itself.
Additionally I like to remind myself of these things with fear of mistakes:
- Remember everyone always does the best they can. (no one makes voluntarily mistakes, they all happen out of not knowing something)
- Development needs crises, when you grow you will phase challenges, so if you phase a challenge, hurray – you are in a growth process!
- Fear is not something you need to be free of in order to proceed. Fear (idealy transformed into loving care) is a friend that walk on my side helping me to be the most attentions I can, to adjust where I see it’s needed and to minimise mistakes.
- Every mistake ever made has the single purpose to help the learning process. When we are afraid of mistakes we tend to deny them and that makes it a more complicated game. The fear of being judged is usually involved. There will be another article about that one soon 🙂
For today – give yourself a warm hug when you are afraid of mistakes, it is a good sign.